Released

[Susan Hampton]

A nice lady came today and told me that I was going to be released from the concentration camp. My mind reeled at the notion. Can it really be? She said that the organization she is with has worked for many years to free me and others like me from these chains we have carried all of our lives. I’m giddy at the possibilities of this new life. Can it really be true, though? Or is this some pie in the sky notion? Does this life of freedom really exist? The camp is all I have known since I was a little girl. This life seems so comfortable to me, yet I have to admit, there have been these nagging moments in which my soul has seemed to know that there has to be something better, something that is more liberating than this confining camp. She even introduced me to others who she claimed have been liberated from a situation just like mine. They seemed genuine and sincere. One of them has even offered to be my personal mentor through this journey I am about to take. She said she was once where I am now, and that she understood my trepidations and fears.
I can’t seem to sleep tonight. So many ideas are racing through my mind. Just imagine the things that I will be able to do! Just imagine the joy that might exist beyond this concentration camp! I have to admit that this joy is already seeping into my being at this very moment. It has come trickling into tiny crevices that this news has created in the dam of my existence. What a feeling it will be when that dam has completely burst! I feel that I have lived so confined for so many years now. Oh, to be set free! Do I dare to plunge into these waters of freedom! Yes, I know that I must. I don’t want to stay locked in this camp all my life. When it was all I knew, I was content that my ways were good enough. But, now I have had a glimpse of the truth, and I can never be content until the mysteries of this new life have been fully opened to me.
I want to help others who are where I am now. Not all have survived this way of life as well as I have. My heart ached for them as I saw them struggle with this confinement, but I never knew how to help them. I did what I knew to do, how I had been helped when I had struggled as a youngster. I must let my mind rest now. I will be meeting with the nice lady and the others again soon, and she said that we have much work to do. But, the work doesn’t worry me; it energizes me! I am ready for the challenges of this new journey to my new life full of liberation. I thank God that He has opened this door for me. I vow that I will use this opportunity to help as many others as I can as I join the nice lady and her friends.
Today, I joined the Appalachian Writing Project (AWP). The nice lady was the leader of my cohort. As she explained the different philosophies of teaching writing, I realized that I had been confined in traditionalism. It was the way that I had been taught, and I had never had the opportunity to know anything different. With no formal training in teaching writing, I became a middle school English teacher six years ago. The textbook I was given taught grammar and writing in the same way I had learned. During the pre-institute weekend, my eyes have been opened to a whole new world that has liberated me from the confinement of this traditionalist way of teaching. I am indeed giddy at the prospects of becoming a better writer and a better teacher of writing. A better writer? Yes, I am a writer, yet another realization that I have come to during this two day pre-institute training. I am even now content to leave the green squiggly line under “A better writer?” because just from the few articles that I read last night online at the NWP site, I now know that I have the freedom to break those traditional grammar rules in order to convey what I want to say in the manner I want to say it! Wow! If feel like Frank Sinatra singing “I did it my way” just from leaving one stinking green squiggly mark on my paper!
I want my students to feel that same freedom in their writing. I have always wanted to give my students the best. Unfortunately, the conceived notion of the best wasn’t always working for all of my students. I have indeed ached for those students, but could only comfort them with how I knew to teach writing. I have already begun to research the topic in which I have chosen to become a presenter. But, I don’t want my quest to stop there. I am a sponge ready to soak up all the knowledge that I can in order to be able to reach each of my students with this liberation, this power of learning to write in a new way. I am indeed thankful that God set the AWP along my path. I am also thankful to all of the wonderful members of the AWP who have worked so diligently for my “release” and who have accepted me into their group.

[Amy Clark]

Wow, Susan, this is powerful--it made my day! I'm so happy that you're already feeling inspired. Looks like you're on your way with a position paper. Thanks for sharing...it makes all the difference!